This is a question that comes up all the time in bereaved parents’ groups: Did God take my child?
Trust me, I’ve asked it myself.
How you answer this question can mean the difference between giving up or going on, between turning away or trusting.
So this is MY answer. The one I’ve worked out through study, prayer and many, many tears. You may disagree. That’s just fine. I only offer it because it might be helpful to some struggling and sorrowful soul.
I believe that God is the Author of life and the arbiter of death. What that means (to me) is that He is ultimately in control of everything and could (if He chose) intervene and stop the death of any person if He wanted to.
Nothing and no one is stronger nor more powerful than God.
However, we live in a fallen world where sin has tainted the original creation God declared “good”. So there are natural disease processes, genetic malformations, undetected birth defects (that may go unknown until well into adulthood like heart defects) that lead to death.
God does not intervene each time-but He could.
People make sinful and foolish choices that have natural consequences. My son was going way too fast in a curve on his motorcycle. God did not override my son’s free will (just as He does not override our free will all day every day) and my son ran off the road.
There are universal physical and biological laws that most of us are thankful for each day that then took over in my son’s case and doomed his motorcycle to certain paths and his body to certain death when it impacted the ground.
God didn’t intervene but He could have.
Job was ultimately protected by the fences God placed around his person. I believe each of us are too.
Yet God is weaving a bigger tapestry, writing a bigger story than only the part that includes me and my family. So my son’s death and the changes it has wrought in me, in others that knew and loved him and even further out into the world are part of God’s big story.
I have made peace with the fact that I do not understand nor like what God has done in my life by allowing my son to die, but I will trust His loving character and wait to see how it will be redeemed in eternity.
No, God did not TAKE my son. But He allowed his death.
I gain more comfort in a God Who could have saved my son but chose not to, than a God Who does not have that power.
His word declares that He keeps my tears in His bottle.
I believe it.
And I believe that one day He will redeem every one and restore what my heart has lost.
If you would like to read more about my grief journey, you can find over 3000 posts on my main blog website: thelifeididntchoose.com
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22 years later, I still struggle in my faith. The God I thought I believed in didn’t line up with the reality we have walked. I don’t believe God took Jason, but I don’t understand why God didn’t protect him. I fervently prayed and prayed for God to protect our kids. He didn’t. We have walked through so many really hard things. I try to believe - I want to believe like I used to - but it’s just really hard and some days I don’t have the energy to try.
This resonates with me. My husband was very angry at a God who could have intervened and prevented our grandson’s suicide, but didn’t stop it. Your statement that you gain more comfort from a God who could have saved Dom and chose not to than a God who does not have that power is thought provoking. God created a perfect world but humans were given free choice. Bad choices multiplied and the world was broken. God never promised an easy path for those who believe in Him (even though we might think we deserve only good things). Instead we were told we would have suffering. My hope lies in a God who promises to walk beside me in both the good and bad times.